During my healing process I frequently struggled with trying to deny the horrible memories which came back. I also tried to lock the pain inside. However, those coping mechanisms created more problems. A few quotes from The Silent Cries explains the internal logic of why this was happening.

            I believed if I expressed too much pain, I would have difficulty denying what had             happened to me, and for parts of me, the need for denial was very strong. . .
            I talked with a friend who had also experienced ritual abuse and she gave me                 some very timely advice. . .
            [She said] Let the parts say and feel and do whatever they need to do. Let the             parts know its okay. Tell them they can take whatever time they need and when                 they've said and felt and done whatever they needed to--then it will go away by                 itself. (The Silent Cries, p. 26)

    A journal entry written by child parts shows how they were feeling:

            We told her one reason we are afraid to cry is cuz if we cry, then it might be harder         to make the memories not real. But Janie said if we pretend it's not real, we still have         to deal with it. I guess that is true because even if we pretend its not real, we have             bad days. . . and bad dreams, and wake up crying for help and all kinds of stuff--so it         still is trouble--even on the inside and it gives us stomach aches and stuff. (The                 Silent Cries, p. 49)

    So now its your turn. Please feel free to share your thoughts on this subject or on anything else you would like to discuss.
       

    One of the difficult challenges when trying to heal from serious pain or abuse issues is the ability to let out all of the locked up emotions. Sometimes a person wants to "appear healed" to the point of blocking and stopping the actual healing process.
           
            "I failed to realize that my concern about appearing 'unhealed' was actually one of         the factors preventing my healing. If I would just let my child parts express                         themselves, in all their painful desperateness, then I could potentially get to a more         stable emotional state. It seemed very counter-intuitive, but the more I allowed                 expression of these intensely painful emotions the more 'healthy' I would be." (The             Silent Cries, page 21)

    The following poem found in The Silent Cries, page 21, and also in Hear My Cry: Writings From My Soul, page 312, shows an additional perspective.

FEELINGS BEHIND THE FACE

I smile and chatter and laugh.
You think I am doing well,
then you leave
and I feel sad.

I kept it away while you were here.
I like to look happy and fine.
I want to be all better.

But sad stays inside
still
and doesn't disappear with smiles
and doesn't get better
hiding away.

I think it is smart to be happy
and stupid to feel sad.
"You can keep it away if you want to."

But when I keep it away,
it stays inside
and doesn't go away ever!!!

    So let's talk. Have you had any difficulty getting out the things that are locked inside of you? What's on your mind today?