The Denial Game

    During my healing process I frequently struggled with trying to deny the horrible memories which came back. I also tried to lock the pain inside. However, those coping mechanisms created more problems. A few quotes from The Silent Cries explains the internal logic of why this was happening.

            I believed if I expressed too much pain, I would have difficulty denying what had             happened to me, and for parts of me, the need for denial was very strong. . .
            I talked with a friend who had also experienced ritual abuse and she gave me                 some very timely advice. . .
            [She said] Let the parts say and feel and do whatever they need to do. Let the             parts know its okay. Tell them they can take whatever time they need and when                 they've said and felt and done whatever they needed to--then it will go away by                 itself. (The Silent Cries, p. 26)

    A journal entry written by child parts shows how they were feeling:

            We told her one reason we are afraid to cry is cuz if we cry, then it might be harder         to make the memories not real. But Janie said if we pretend it's not real, we still have         to deal with it. I guess that is true because even if we pretend its not real, we have             bad days. . . and bad dreams, and wake up crying for help and all kinds of stuff--so it         still is trouble--even on the inside and it gives us stomach aches and stuff. (The                 Silent Cries, p. 49)

    So now its your turn. Please feel free to share your thoughts on this subject or on anything else you would like to discuss.