“Sarah was someone I had known for many years. My initial impressions of her were that she was ‘too nice.’ For some reason, I had difficulty accepting that her niceness was genuine. Sometimes Christians are only Christians on the outside and their discipleship doesn't go very deep. To me, a true disciple of Christ is someone who is kind and does acts of kindness even when it isn't convenient, or even when it seems to be against their own best interests.
“When people gather at church, for instance, there is the possibility that they are putting on a front in order to appear perfect. But will they help you do something difficult like moving to a new house, or will they help you do some very unpleasant task like cleaning up a flooded basement? I had no specific reason to think Sarah was a superficial disciple, but I was cautious with her because of how nice she seemed. Little did I understand the depth of this woman's discipleship and the affect it would have on me.
“I started to recognize Sarah's true nature. On one occasion my whole family was ill (all seven of us). Sarah took it upon herself to fix a complete meal and bring it, along with videos, to feed and entertain my children. I gradually began to realize that she was actually who she seemed to be, and that she was consistently a true follower of Christ. As my understanding of her goodness increased, I eventually told her some things about my abuse.
“It was during the time I was involved in opening up to Dixie, Audrey, and Louise that I had started to ‘test the waters’ with Sarah as well. I had several late night phone conversations with her, but even with all of that contact, I somehow continued to withhold some of the most horrible memories and feelings from her.” (My Tears Fall Inside, pages 125-126)
Since my abuse had been so severe, and because of my relationship with Louise, I had learned that not everyone could handle hearing about the terrible things that had happened to me. This was an important lesson for me to learn, but as a result it was very difficult for me to figure out who I could trust enough to really open up to and who I couldn’t or shouldn’t and since child parts of me were very dominant at that time it was a complicated problem.
“When people gather at church, for instance, there is the possibility that they are putting on a front in order to appear perfect. But will they help you do something difficult like moving to a new house, or will they help you do some very unpleasant task like cleaning up a flooded basement? I had no specific reason to think Sarah was a superficial disciple, but I was cautious with her because of how nice she seemed. Little did I understand the depth of this woman's discipleship and the affect it would have on me.
“I started to recognize Sarah's true nature. On one occasion my whole family was ill (all seven of us). Sarah took it upon herself to fix a complete meal and bring it, along with videos, to feed and entertain my children. I gradually began to realize that she was actually who she seemed to be, and that she was consistently a true follower of Christ. As my understanding of her goodness increased, I eventually told her some things about my abuse.
“It was during the time I was involved in opening up to Dixie, Audrey, and Louise that I had started to ‘test the waters’ with Sarah as well. I had several late night phone conversations with her, but even with all of that contact, I somehow continued to withhold some of the most horrible memories and feelings from her.” (My Tears Fall Inside, pages 125-126)
Since my abuse had been so severe, and because of my relationship with Louise, I had learned that not everyone could handle hearing about the terrible things that had happened to me. This was an important lesson for me to learn, but as a result it was very difficult for me to figure out who I could trust enough to really open up to and who I couldn’t or shouldn’t and since child parts of me were very dominant at that time it was a complicated problem.
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