THERE IS ALWAYS HOPE

“From this viewpoint, I had an extremely difficult time rising above my own perspective to say, ‘Shawna, if you'll just let go of the tight control you've got on your emotions, it will move your healing process along.’ I saw no process, only that the excruciating pain that was stored inside my parts was a holocaust that made my life a living hell. My child parts had done an effective job of taking on the painful memories and emotions of my abuse, but I had extreme difficulty allowing these emotions to surface in order to heal from them. The pain of releasing the emotions triggered the survival instinct which caused the split in the first place. I was frightened, to say the least, as I considered the possibility of loosening the grip on the anger, fear, and sadness that my child parts were ready to express.
     “Only through God's eyes could I hope to see the end from the beginning, the tunnel instead of the dark room.” (My Tears Fall Inside, pages 91-92)

     At this point, I couldn’t see the end of the tunnel, but I trusted God to see much farther than I and I had hope that He would direct me and others (in my behalf) to lead me through the darkness of despair and into the light of hope. It was a very long and painful journey but He did not fail me. He gave me strength to bear it and comfort through the loving arms of His Christian followers. I know, through personal experience, that no matter how bleak our life may seem, God is trying to help us if we will only let Him and pay attention to the little mercy’s He sends our way.