PROGRESS IS IN THE PROCESS

    "Dreams and flashbacks were also 'Cinderella slippers' in my life. I have been plagued by horrible dreams and terror at night. This writing describes one such dream:

IN MY DREAMS
(1992)

The night drags on
and in my restless sleep
I break out in a cold sweat.
I tremble and shake violently.

My dreams are vivid
and the eight year old I become
can't speak
for she is overcome with terror. . .

In my dreams
I feel physical pain.
The covers are too tight
and I can't move.

My panic intensifies
and I awake still feeling pain.
I continue to tremble,
awake and adult. . .

     "Other 'Cinderella slippers' included unexplained reactions or 'triggers' that would arise in my everyday life. One time I took my little boy to a dinosaur museum where one of the exhibits was housed in a structure built like a tunnel. The sides were made of grey rock and as we began walking through this tunnel and turning a couple of corners, I saw some bars that looked like a jail. Suddenly my heart started pounding and I began shaking all over. I was terrified! I turned around and got out of there as fast as I could. I could not imagine why I had that reaction.
    "About a year or so later, a childhood memory emerged. In this memory, the satanists had taken me into a cave that had tunnels. They put me into a room with bars, like a jail, and had left me there alone in the dark. After the memory came back, I recalled my reaction at the museum. Suddenly it made sense and I understood why I had such a terrified reaction in the museum." (My Tears Fall Inside, selections from pages 41-44)

    Sometimes healing can be a very long and painful process, but over time, it can and will get better. My life now is so much better than it was and I am happy most of the time. Life means that sometimes we have issues to deal with, but as we deal with those issues, we can move on and our lives will continue to improve over time. Progress truly is in the process.