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My New Book, My Tears Fall Inside

9/29/2012

12 Comments

 
Hello everyone.  Welcome to my blog.

First, many thanks to all of you who have purchased and read my book.  I hope many of
you have gained something by reading it. If you have, please feel free to comment on this blog and click the“Like” button on my web page.  Also, encourage your friends to come to my website so they can buy their own copy of the book.  

Next, this is my first attempt at blogging.  I just wanted to get that right out front.  In fact, since I am behind the times on that sort of thing, I had to call my daughter to get some tips on how to do it.  So please be patient with me as I learn.  I will plan on posting to my blog on each Monday and Thursday.

Many people love the title of my book.  Although this book is not a poetry book, there are several poems included. Those of you that have already read the book know that the title came from the first poem in the book.  Here is the poem:

 INSIDE

The world is blue sky
and sunny 
outside.

The children laugh and play
In the
orchard
outside.

The people are friendly
and polite
outside.

But

My sun has set . . .
and skies are black
inside. 

The children tremble and cry
in the mind
inside.

Only death brings peace
and life, sadness
inside.

And so
I smile and no one knows
that all my tears fall
inside.



I would like to open up this blog discussion about your own experiences or the feelings you had while reading my book. 
Now let’s start talking . . .

(If you add a comment, you will have the option to receive email notifications of any new comments to this post.)
12 Comments
LeAnn
9/30/2012 05:02:10 am

One of the things that touched me most about Shawna's book was that it was such a powerful reminder of the Savior's council to not judge others. And that by reserving judgement and showing Christ like love we can not only help to heal broken hearts but aide them in discovering and being their true self. It gave me a deeper appreciation for Christ's example of focusing on the one, meeting their needs and always extending love, compassion and mercy. I have found both for myself and in dealing with others whether family, friends or strangers that it is only through extending such love that burdens are shared and real healing can take place.

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Verna
10/1/2012 08:47:45 am

No one knows the heartaches of people. Each person has their own challenges. No matter how big or small, the Savior's love is there for us. Thank you Shawna for a beautiful book full of struggles and unconditional love. I definitely want to learn how to communicate better in not only how I feel but in listening and understanding the feelings of others.

Reply
Shawna
10/1/2012 12:58:02 pm

Thank you for your inciteful comments. It is nice to know that my book has struck a familiar chord in you.

Reply
Gayle Grotegut
10/30/2012 12:16:14 pm

What an amazing woman you are Shawna! I read your book last night in one sitting. I am anxious to read your other books. I, too, was a ritual abuse victim but I didn't split with MPD. I can dissociate, but not to that degree. I worked at Utah Valley Hospital in Physical therapy for several years, spending 1/2 my time in the psychiatric unit. ( I did a lot of my healing vicariously through those I served there as we shared our stories and therapy experiences.) I have had the privilege of knowing many who did split. It takes tremendous torture for someone to fragment into parts and it takes tremendous courage to integrate. I applaud you for having the courage to do it, and I thank the Lord for his gift to you of healing! No one would guess that you had been through so much. You have become such a loving, giving person and you seem so comfortable with people. It was so wonderful that the Lord blessed you with incredible people to help heal you as He did with me. I wonder if some of us are driven to work through these things in order to help others. It is far more common than people think. I love your poems and they triggered a lot of memories in me. I especially love the poem "Rain" and I can really relate to that one. I used to spend a lot of time sitting hidden behind a lilac bush in my yard and walking in the rain. You have an incredible gift for honesty and depth in your poems. I love them. They made me cry. I kept thinking "I know exactly what she means" in so many of them. I am glad that my tears are on the outside too now. You will help so many through your story. Praise the Lord for his grace!
I really liked the way that you focused on the healing process rather than the horrific events. Most people don't believe the truth of the events because they are just too terrible to seem possible. Most books that I have read about ritual abuse can't really tell the events like they are because so many would insist that the author made them up.

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11/19/2012 07:08:49 am

Dear Shawna,
First, a resounding "Amen" to everything everyone has said so far!
Next, it was many years ago that you told me about the driving force that moved deep within you toward publishing your writings someday, knowing that it would help others...... Wow! You did it! I loved your book and have a collection of friends that I know will be blessed and moved forward in their own healing process. The insightful way you described your journey is applicable to every kind of pain and trial that we as humans experience. You have done an excellent job of making healing the focal point if the book with excellent points on how to support anyone dealing with personal trials, or seeking help. It also made me much more aware of what's going on out there regarding children! Thank you for sharing your journey. It is a book full of hope!

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April
12/16/2012 12:12:37 pm

Shawna,
Thank you so much for sharing such tender pieces of your life with us. I really felt that I learned a lot from reading your book. I also learned a lot about the Christlike disciple that I hope I can be. I loved your poetry, it seemed very honest and heartfelt to me. I am looking forward to reading about the rest of your journey.
One thing I wondered a lot while I was reading, was how did all of the abuse and your healing process affect you being a Mom. It must have been so hard to be going through your memories and breaking into your different parts, while at the same time being a mom. You have so much courage. I admire your ability to stay so strong and faithful through your ordeals. God Bless You!

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6/8/2015 04:09:44 pm

You have a way with words that is beautiful. The effect that I get from your poems is the same effect that I get when watching Pixar Movies. I usually call these movies "traitor movies". Ask me why? Because they're seemingly light but their messages often tear me apart. Your poems are the same way, you use words like sunshine yet you speak of inner struggles. The contrast just works so well for me. Keep them coming!

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