I decided to introduce three more personality parts to you.
"LONELY LAURA: Lonely Laura was also created when I was five years old and then re-created to fill the role as an adult. She was hurt, sad, lonely, and really didn't believe that anyone could love her. . .
"TINA: Tina looked only for beauty. She could be heard to say, 'I look to beauty to survive.' Tina felt if she could focus strongly enough on beauty she would be able to block out the horror.
"Most child parts split off when I was a child and continued as children; others grew with me into adulthood. Because my mind was so capable of making thse splits, I continued to split off parts into adulthood when dealing with the traumas of my marriage. As was already mentioned, some of these adult parts were actually 're-purposed' child parts who re-emerged as adults to take on adult issues. One adult part was:
"MORTICIA: Morticia was an adult part in her twenties who believed she was dying of a broken heart and took on all of the broken heart chest pains that I experienced during my marriage. With Morticia, I discovered that whenever I had chest pains and would write 'Writings From My Soul,' the pain would go away.
"Morticia wished for death and slowed down my body functions. She believed if I died, then I could be happy. . . Morticia got her name from 'mortician,' someone who takes care of dead bodies. She felt like she was dead inside.
"It was the combination of all my 'parts' that created the sum total of my emotional world, my existence, and the forgotten realities of my childhood. My various parts experienced life differently and saw the world through different eyes. Until these parts learned to, or were allowed to express themselves, I suffered from a growing list of physical and emotional symptoms." (My Tears Fall Inside, selections from pages 58-60)
"LONELY LAURA: Lonely Laura was also created when I was five years old and then re-created to fill the role as an adult. She was hurt, sad, lonely, and really didn't believe that anyone could love her. . .
"TINA: Tina looked only for beauty. She could be heard to say, 'I look to beauty to survive.' Tina felt if she could focus strongly enough on beauty she would be able to block out the horror.
"Most child parts split off when I was a child and continued as children; others grew with me into adulthood. Because my mind was so capable of making thse splits, I continued to split off parts into adulthood when dealing with the traumas of my marriage. As was already mentioned, some of these adult parts were actually 're-purposed' child parts who re-emerged as adults to take on adult issues. One adult part was:
"MORTICIA: Morticia was an adult part in her twenties who believed she was dying of a broken heart and took on all of the broken heart chest pains that I experienced during my marriage. With Morticia, I discovered that whenever I had chest pains and would write 'Writings From My Soul,' the pain would go away.
"Morticia wished for death and slowed down my body functions. She believed if I died, then I could be happy. . . Morticia got her name from 'mortician,' someone who takes care of dead bodies. She felt like she was dead inside.
"It was the combination of all my 'parts' that created the sum total of my emotional world, my existence, and the forgotten realities of my childhood. My various parts experienced life differently and saw the world through different eyes. Until these parts learned to, or were allowed to express themselves, I suffered from a growing list of physical and emotional symptoms." (My Tears Fall Inside, selections from pages 58-60)
Although my world was very dissociated, I suffered physically and emotionally when I locked up all my pain inside. The same thing happens with normal people who lock up their emotional pain. It is only in finding healthy releases for our inside traumas that we are able to avoid, or heal from the physical symptoms that those trapped emotions cause.
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