FEELING LOST?

     “The pain of Dixie's departure created a desperate need to split off into new parts, something I was trying to avoid doing. Mental health professionals who have studied and worked with multiples know that once a small child has learned to split off, the person is capable of doing it even into adulthood. My own experience was a testament to that phenomenon and I had several personality parts who had split off because of adult traumas.
     “When Dixie left, I seemed to drift ‘away’ in a dissociative state where I experienced life from a distance. This wasn't quite to the level of splitting off, but it was along the same continuum. To me, it felt like I was losing myself:

I AM LOST
(1994)
 
I’m lost.
My body is still here
so I don’t LOOK lost,
but I AM!
 
It feels sad to be all lost,
but since people see my body,
they don’t even miss me.
Nobody can find me!
 
And I don’t know if anybody can tell
that I AM lost?!
I wish somebody could look at me
and notice that I’m not here.
 
I’m so far far away
and I’m all alone
and I’m way big sad
and LOST!
 
I wish I mattered enough
that somebody
would try to find me.
 
OH PLEASE!
Let there BE a somebody!

(My Tears Fall Inside, pages 171-172)

     How many people feel lost just like I did, even though they don’t “look” lost? How careful we need to be in our interaction with others, since we can never know all that is going on inside of them and the pain they may be feeling.