DOES SOMEONE NEED YOUR VALIDATION?

     “I was prone to minimizing the degree to which someone might be capable of hurting me, thus, I needed someone like Audrey to validate my understanding of things. I often excused away others’ negative behaviors because I was so unsure of myself. Audrey, on the other hand, was grounded in her understanding of what was appropriate or inappropriate. . .
     “I was having difficulty understanding what “normal” was and I needed someone grounded to help me understand the boundaries of “normal” relationships. Audrey was that person. Her role in my healing was as a “validator,” someone with whom I could define reality. This ability to determine what was real and what was not real became so much more important when the subject matter shifted to the mind-blowing issue of sadistic ritual abuse:

REAL / UNREAL

What am I afraid of?

If I made it all up
maybe I’m just crazy.

If it is just a memory
then it was hell

But if it isn’t real
why the terror?

If it is real
then why can’t I remember?

If I can’t remember
why am I so frightened?

Strange

that the only feeling left to me
is fear.

     “My relationship with Audrey was pivotal in my healing because she was the first person I actually dared talk to about some of my pain. Audrey’s compassionate response . . . gave me courage to gradually share more of my pain, first with her then later with others. It even affected my ability to open up more fully to my therapist. As time went on, God mercifully brought other willing, loving souls forward to offer their unique gifts at just the right time.” (My Tears Fall Inside, pages 72-74)