"Cinderella came home from a fabulous ball. It was so vastly different from her routine lifestyle that the whole evening might have been a dream, except for one tiny detail: she still had one of the glass slippers. She knew she hadn't 'made up' that glass slipper because she could see it and touch it. It was tangible proof that something unusual really had happened.
"I had not been to a wonderful royal ball--quite the contrary, but I had suffered total amnesia about the sexual and satanic ritual abuse that had happened to me when I was a child. Nevertheless, there were always 'glass slippers' in my 'closet'--those tangible things that told me something important had happened to me.
"These conscious evidences were important not because they, of themselves, 'proved' that the abuse was real, but because they helped validate what I was experiencing and gradually beginning to remember. When I looked at my 'Cinderella slippers' in combination with my emerging memories, the medical evidence, corroborating statements, and the terror that was a part of my life, a real picture began to take shape. . .
"The body never forgets; it contains a literal record of everything that happens to you in life. Various problems with my body were 'Cinderella slippers' for me. Unexplained scars and broken bones can be powerful objective evidences of abuse that has been 'lost' from the conscious mind. In addition to scars and broken bones, unusual 'body memories,' though less convincing to skeptics, can be very validating 'Cinderella slippers.' It seems the body has its own ability to remember even when the mind cannot. In my case, there were both kinds of evidences." (My Tears Fall Inside, pages 37-38.)
The total amnesia I experienced throughout the first few decades of my life was a gift. God allowed me to forget the terrible things that happened to me and didn't let me remember until I was an adult. When the memories did come back, I was shocked that the pieces of my puzzle began to fit together. Knowing how much of my life that I had forgotten, helps me to look at other people with more kindness. Who knows what went on in their lives--perhaps even things they don't remember--which affects the choices they are currently making.
"I had not been to a wonderful royal ball--quite the contrary, but I had suffered total amnesia about the sexual and satanic ritual abuse that had happened to me when I was a child. Nevertheless, there were always 'glass slippers' in my 'closet'--those tangible things that told me something important had happened to me.
"These conscious evidences were important not because they, of themselves, 'proved' that the abuse was real, but because they helped validate what I was experiencing and gradually beginning to remember. When I looked at my 'Cinderella slippers' in combination with my emerging memories, the medical evidence, corroborating statements, and the terror that was a part of my life, a real picture began to take shape. . .
"The body never forgets; it contains a literal record of everything that happens to you in life. Various problems with my body were 'Cinderella slippers' for me. Unexplained scars and broken bones can be powerful objective evidences of abuse that has been 'lost' from the conscious mind. In addition to scars and broken bones, unusual 'body memories,' though less convincing to skeptics, can be very validating 'Cinderella slippers.' It seems the body has its own ability to remember even when the mind cannot. In my case, there were both kinds of evidences." (My Tears Fall Inside, pages 37-38.)
The total amnesia I experienced throughout the first few decades of my life was a gift. God allowed me to forget the terrible things that happened to me and didn't let me remember until I was an adult. When the memories did come back, I was shocked that the pieces of my puzzle began to fit together. Knowing how much of my life that I had forgotten, helps me to look at other people with more kindness. Who knows what went on in their lives--perhaps even things they don't remember--which affects the choices they are currently making.
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