“Although my inner parts seemed willing to talk about their memories during therapy sessions, there seemed to be a problem or a block in my healing process. I was totally disconnected from my feelings. No matter how traumatic the memories were, I remained completely numb, reciting a list of abuses as if I were reading a grocery list.
“Seeing my worsening physical symptoms along with this numbness, the therapist was concerned that I would not be able to heal as long as I kept blocking all of my feelings.
“The memories were so awful that I was afraid to let any of the feelings surface. I had blocked my emotions for so long I didn’t know how to let them come. I literally hadn’t cried for at least the previous ten years before I began therapy. My 12-year-old daughter never remembered seeing me cry.
“I didn't know I needed help from anyone else until Lonely Laura wrote the following: (My Tears Fall Inside, page 65 and poem on page 66)
“Seeing my worsening physical symptoms along with this numbness, the therapist was concerned that I would not be able to heal as long as I kept blocking all of my feelings.
“The memories were so awful that I was afraid to let any of the feelings surface. I had blocked my emotions for so long I didn’t know how to let them come. I literally hadn’t cried for at least the previous ten years before I began therapy. My 12-year-old daughter never remembered seeing me cry.
“I didn't know I needed help from anyone else until Lonely Laura wrote the following: (My Tears Fall Inside, page 65 and poem on page 66)
WHERE ARE YOU
By Lonely Laura
Where are you in this world full of faces?
I feel jostled to and fro among the endless people
yet I find no one.
No one to see and hear and feel with me
The emptiness inside
The tears unshed
The aching longing to find someone.
How can you, who are on top of the world
find me—here at the bottom?
I am lost and oh so alone.
Where is that shoulder?
I need to weep and yet I can’t
for there is no one.
By Lonely Laura
Where are you in this world full of faces?
I feel jostled to and fro among the endless people
yet I find no one.
No one to see and hear and feel with me
The emptiness inside
The tears unshed
The aching longing to find someone.
How can you, who are on top of the world
find me—here at the bottom?
I am lost and oh so alone.
Where is that shoulder?
I need to weep and yet I can’t
for there is no one.
There were people who could have been part of my life if I had only let them into my world. If you are also suffering from loneliness and trapped emotions as I was, try being brave and give someone a chance to get to know you.
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