“Shortly after Easter, I had a significant discussion with Linda. One could only imagine what a daughter might be feeling about her mother spending so much time mothering a neighbor. I mentioned to her something about how her mom loved me, and I was amazed that she agreed. Then, I did what I was in the habit of doing, I sought further reassurance.
"‘Linda, do you think it is really and truly the truth that she does love me?’"
"‘I do think that's the truth, Shawna. I know my mom's heart and I know that she loves you.’"
“I was extremely happy to hear this second witness about Dixie's love. Then I pondered for a minute and a new thought entered my mind. ‘Is it okay with you that your mom loves me?’"
“She replied, ‘Why wouldn't it be okay with me? Of course it's okay with me.’”
"‘Because she is your mom, and not mine.’"
“Linda went on to say that she didn't believe love comes in a bottle, with only so much to go around. She told me that it would be okay if her mom loved me even if she didn't love her.
“I was surprised by that statement and said, ‘But she does love you!’"
"‘I know my mom loves me but I 'm just saying it would be okay for her to love you no matter what. . .’" (My Tears Fall Inside, pages 148-149)
My idea that love had limits and that there was only so much to go around was proof, once again, that I really didn’t comprehend what genuine love was. The only kind of “love” that I understood was conditional—not realizing that “conditional love” isn’t really love at all. Even though I now had people in my life who truly loved me unselfishly, I didn’t completely trust that love. I was still waiting for the other shoe to drop any second and for the “love” to disappear if I did not behave in whatever way was expected. How awesome it is when we develop and increase our capacity to love others unconditionally.
"‘Linda, do you think it is really and truly the truth that she does love me?’"
"‘I do think that's the truth, Shawna. I know my mom's heart and I know that she loves you.’"
“I was extremely happy to hear this second witness about Dixie's love. Then I pondered for a minute and a new thought entered my mind. ‘Is it okay with you that your mom loves me?’"
“She replied, ‘Why wouldn't it be okay with me? Of course it's okay with me.’”
"‘Because she is your mom, and not mine.’"
“Linda went on to say that she didn't believe love comes in a bottle, with only so much to go around. She told me that it would be okay if her mom loved me even if she didn't love her.
“I was surprised by that statement and said, ‘But she does love you!’"
"‘I know my mom loves me but I 'm just saying it would be okay for her to love you no matter what. . .’" (My Tears Fall Inside, pages 148-149)
My idea that love had limits and that there was only so much to go around was proof, once again, that I really didn’t comprehend what genuine love was. The only kind of “love” that I understood was conditional—not realizing that “conditional love” isn’t really love at all. Even though I now had people in my life who truly loved me unselfishly, I didn’t completely trust that love. I was still waiting for the other shoe to drop any second and for the “love” to disappear if I did not behave in whatever way was expected. How awesome it is when we develop and increase our capacity to love others unconditionally.
RSS Feed