“I stopped by Dixie’s house just to get a hug, with no intention of telling her anything about my insecurities. I knew that she was exhausted. When she put her arms around me to hug me, I just started crying. I told her how frightened I was and what Carla had told me. Dixie told me that she was not going to read my sessions anymore. She also informed me that things needed to change.
“Concerned child parts of me asked, ‘Will you still be my mother?’ She replied, ‘Not in the same way.’ Through my tears I responded, ‘It is probably for the best.’ I said this even though I still truly felt lost and confused. Dixie went on to say, ‘I feel very strongly that I need to do this. I feel like if I don't do this I will emotionally cripple you for the rest of your life. I love you too much to do that. I will always cherish those precious moments with your child parts and I will love you forever and ever!’
“Though I was traumatized and sad, I knew three things. I knew that Dixie really and truly loved me (a remarkable break-through for me). I knew that she could hear the Lord, and I knew that I could hear Him.” (My Tears Fall Inside, page 179)
Looking back on this experience with Dixie, I realize that Dixie had given me all that she had to give. She could no longer handle the pain I was experiencing. Unfortunately, the little child parts still needed a mother in order to complete my healing, but Dixie could no longer fulfill that role. I knew she still loved me, and because I totally trusted her, I mistakenly determined that if she couldn’t be my mother, I must not need one. Thankfully, God knew much better than I.
“Concerned child parts of me asked, ‘Will you still be my mother?’ She replied, ‘Not in the same way.’ Through my tears I responded, ‘It is probably for the best.’ I said this even though I still truly felt lost and confused. Dixie went on to say, ‘I feel very strongly that I need to do this. I feel like if I don't do this I will emotionally cripple you for the rest of your life. I love you too much to do that. I will always cherish those precious moments with your child parts and I will love you forever and ever!’
“Though I was traumatized and sad, I knew three things. I knew that Dixie really and truly loved me (a remarkable break-through for me). I knew that she could hear the Lord, and I knew that I could hear Him.” (My Tears Fall Inside, page 179)
Looking back on this experience with Dixie, I realize that Dixie had given me all that she had to give. She could no longer handle the pain I was experiencing. Unfortunately, the little child parts still needed a mother in order to complete my healing, but Dixie could no longer fulfill that role. I knew she still loved me, and because I totally trusted her, I mistakenly determined that if she couldn’t be my mother, I must not need one. Thankfully, God knew much better than I.
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