“After that embarrassing moment in my bedroom, Janie started to reach out to me in little ways. A week after that incident, at her request, I read her more of my poems and I even dared to let her take a few of them home with her, on the condition that she return them ‘soon.’ Giving her my poems to take home made me feel extremely vulnerable and I thought to myself, ‘I wonder if she will wait a whole week to bring them back?’ Giving her access to my poems was a test to see how interested she was in me. Well, it wasn't even a full week before she brought the poems back, so she passed that test. She had read them, loved them, and asked if I would give her more to read. I eventually gave her a whole year's worth, which was a way of letting her into my world and another test to see if she could really handle me and my ‘stuff.’” (The Silent Cries, pages 18-19)
When a person experiences severe trauma at the hands of others in early childhood, distrust of people and their motives is a natural consequence. In the child’s mind, this wariness is a way to help keep them safe, and that child tests every relationship. At least that was the case with the child parts inside of me. For this reason, it took incredible people with consistent kindness in order for me to feel safe enough to allow them windows into my world and my soul. Thankfully, some of those wonderful people reached out to me. Who has reached out to you in your time of need?
When a person experiences severe trauma at the hands of others in early childhood, distrust of people and their motives is a natural consequence. In the child’s mind, this wariness is a way to help keep them safe, and that child tests every relationship. At least that was the case with the child parts inside of me. For this reason, it took incredible people with consistent kindness in order for me to feel safe enough to allow them windows into my world and my soul. Thankfully, some of those wonderful people reached out to me. Who has reached out to you in your time of need?
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