“From then on, if I cried at all, it was only a tear or two. The result of locking all of the tears inside meant that my body's aches and pains increased since there was no release of the emotional pain. I failed to realize that my concern about appearing ‘un-healed’ was actually one of the factors preventing my healing. If I would just let my child parts express themselves, in all their painful desperateness, then I could potentially get to a more stable emotional state. It seemed very counter-intuitive, but the more I allowed expression of these intense painful emotions the more ‘healthy’ I would be. The following poem was written by child parts who were thinking of Janie.”
I smile and chatter and laugh.
You think I am doing well,
then you leave
and I feel sad.
I kept it away while you were here.
I like to look happy and fine.
I want to be all better.
But sad stays inside
and doesn’t disappear with smiles
and doesn’t get better
I think it is smart to be happy
and stupid to feel sad.
“You can keep it away if you want to.”
But when I keep it away,
it stays inside
and doesn’t go away ever!!!
(The Silent Cries, pages 21-22)