“Toward the end of 1993, when Dixie told me that she and Guy were putting in their ‘papers’ indicating they were open to be assigned as missionaries, I was deeply affected and prayed:
“‘I feel like if Dixie leaves me, that I will just curl up and die inside. . . I’m so scared that now because I finally believe she loves me—now she’ll go away. Like love is a trick to hurt me more. . .’
“The answer from above:
“‘A way will be provided so that she will stay. . . Wait and see, little ones. A way will be provided for her to stay near you.’
“Suddenly, I was face-to-face with an intense vulnerability. I had risked everything to open up to Dixie. The child parts within me were finally comfortable with a mother figure who was a true nurturer. How could I possibly survive? As time went on, I received more assurances from the Lord:
“‘Just wait and see. A way will be provided so Dixie won't be far away. It is not yet time for the separation from her that you fear.’
“God was clearly telling me that He would take care of the ‘problem’ but I was now questioning the answers I was receiving. On one hand, Dixie was planning to leave with her husband to serve as a missionary. On the other hand, God was telling me He would make a way for the situation to be resolved, at least until I could be strong enough to function without her. Something had to give, and I certainly couldn't see a way out of this.” (My Tears Fall Inside, pages 159-160)
I kept hoping that something would happen so Dixie would decide not to leave me after all, but their preparations to go on a mission were in earnest. What would I do? How could the little children within me survive without her?