“We were able to figure out that Sherry was trying to become almost non-existent due to her intense grief over Louise. She would say, ‘If Louise doesn't believe in me, then I just won't exist.’ Sherry still existed, but was so withdrawn and hidden away that it was often difficult to know that she was still around. In the short time that Sherry talked to Dixie that day, she talked about her fear of love.
"‘If you let someone love you, then they'll hurt you,’ was Sherry's mantra. Sherry was becoming a hidden, very difficult part of me who was making it even more challenging to feel the love of my friends.” (My Tears Fall Inside, pages 146-146)
Deb was trying to rescue Sherry by pulling her away from her sadness. Unfortunately, that meant that Sherry’s sadness stayed locked inside. In just that same way, if we don’t allow others to feel the sadness they need to feel, it also stays trapped inside of them and prevents the person from healing. Sometimes we can’t handle another person’s sadness because it resonates too closely with our own and if we can’t cope with our own feelings, we try to pull others away from theirs as well. Although it is very tempting to rescue others from their negative feelings, it isn’t always the best thing for them.