“Sometimes I would sit for several hours with one of my friends before I could open up to them. As I sat, I would fight through thoughts such as, ‘If I share the horror I am remembering, it might be the last straw. Could someone still love me if they knew THIS about me?’ It was case by case, session by session, and it never got easier:
“My insides quiver and my hands shake
as I tell people
what happened to me.
“What if they don’t believe me?
What if they think it’s my fault?
What if they think I deserve it?
“These dark secrets have
trapped me inside
“I have to escape
or I’ll drown in the depths of my own fears,
unable to take a stand.
“Will they still love me
I’ve shared my heartache?
“Or will they misunderstand,
thinking I do it for spite or to manipulate,
instead of to heal.”
(My Tears Fall Inside, pages 137-139)